Hi my sweet,
 I am so sorry I haven't written you in so long. It's been a long few weeks. I started a new job...back to the daily grind. It just makes me miss you more. I wish I was coming home to you, daddy, and simon. It's not fair how much I still miss you. Fifteen days until the worst day ever comes...they day you died. I am sick to my stomach over it.
 I found out last night that a friend of a friend lost her baby who was born premature. I hope you welcomed her with open arms my sweet. I broke down when I heard it...it kills me know knowing another mommy will have to have to deal the is insane pain of losing their baby. It's just not right.
 I had a dream about you last night baby. I walked into the room and you where dead again. The doctors were weighing you body. I picked you up and you started to breathe again, but the doctors said you where dying. I held you until you stopped breathing again..then you came back to life again. I was so upset because I know you where suffering. The doctor put a needle in your arm and told me you where going to die. I didn't understand because you you kept breathing and trying to live. I thought they were trying to kill you. I was so confused and didn't want you to suffer and I just kept holding you. I don't remember how it ended, but I woke up in the middle of the night and made myself remember what I could. I just wanted to be with you. It hurts so bad. I love you with all of my heart...some days I don't know how I have made it this far. I don't now how anyone can live their whole life without their baby. I wish I could dream of you more, and you would be alive. I wish you where alive.
 I love you angel...

Believe in me...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oiV6wWmqNzk