Hello my little love,
 I've been thinking about you a lot lately. Yesterday was the anniversary of you great gramma's passing. I really miss her. I miss you both. Sometimes (even though I love my life with you dad), I wish I was in the ether with you. Your daddy and I last night sat in the middle of the kitchen floor and talked about you, maw maw, and your grandma jo anne, and aunt becky. We talked about how we miss you. I started crying when we talked about your grave. I wish I had you with me. I know that you are getting lots of love wherever you are. I know you are the shining star, but I'm selfish and want you all to myself. It's just not my time yet to join you on the other side. I hope you like the swan ornament I picked out for you for our tree. I wish you could be here to celebrate the holidays with. You belong here. Baby boy, how long will this pain last? This hole...it never closes. I hope I see you in my dreams soon. That would be the best Christmas present ever. I love you my little man.