Hey my little man,

 I've been thinking about you so much today. It's as if you are right there dancing in my heart. I saw this online and thought of you and I and our perfect love.   I don love you to the moon, and back...trough the galaxies and stars...past all the solr systems: to heaven and beyond. I can only hope one day this will be you and I, hanging on te moon, holding our souls to close. I promise to hold you forever. Autumn is not coming through, and I remember last year. Sickened by the thought of pumpkins and halloween, because that is when you where supposed to be in this word, but you my littel love already died. It's heartstopping sometimes to think about it. Our birthdays where supposed to be around the same time...you and I always perfetly connected. I would joke wit your daddy that he was going to ave two scopios on his hands. What a pair we where going to be. I had somany dreams for you little prince, and so did you daddy. We now feel like we can talk about having futures kids again, though niether one of us is ready just yet. We want our lives to be better, and for me to be as healthy as I can be for your future sibling. I hope one day I can be strong enough to try again, because I hae realized there is nothing greater in life then having more children. I am a mother, and I need to care for earthly children too. You daddy is going to be the perfect father, he always dreamed of it. I cannot beleive how much I lucked out with him, maybe you where up there above the cosmos, threading our desinies together. Phoenix, I wish I could dream about you more..those are the best dreams ever. I dream about everything but you. I dream about your Gigi Janice...I miss her. I hope she is ok with you. I hope you aren't ever sad where you are...just full of life and part o the stars. I hope we wll be together again. I have met more angel mommies, it'sfunny because we all beleive that our children are together...you must ave so many friends honey. Phoenix, I miss you, sometimes it's unbearable, but sometimes I can make it through.. You are the GREATEST! Love you always my baby boy.