My little love,
 I watched the fire works with your dad last night. We were going to go out on the boat, but his tail light was out, so we just sat on the back porch and watched them burst all around us. Phoenix they where everywhere we would look. Even though some hid behind trees they looked so lovely glittering in the balmy hair. I was sweating and getting eaten by bugs, but I didn't even care. It felt just like a movie, even though I was wearing pj pants and a huge old navy shirt. The sky was tie-dyed with color. I felt like I was in Bax Luhrmann film as the work just lit up for the first time. You dad was all smiles, like a five year old over them. You know how much he loves them. We just chased them with our eyes for a long time. I loved that moment more than any other moment, because I felt you like no other then. I know you wanted us to be there, and I could just feel it streaming trough to my bones. I didn't cry once that night. I actually felt kinda good. I realized you where everywhere, and I just needed to open my eyes and really looked. You are so alive my love, and that gives me hope. That's all I nee to get through this life, and as long as I had hope I had you. I love you little prince. You have the best daddy in the world by the way, and he loves you and I so much. We are very lucky people. I don't deserve it. Baby, I am trying to find that joy again for you and your daddy. You both deserve better than what I have been, and I am going to try harder my prince. Thank you for the fireworks sweetheart. Lover you bigger and brighter than the rest.